FRIED POTATOES OF DEATH

Okay guys, so I read something this morning that SHOOK ME TO MY VERY CORE. This headline greeted me this morning:

“Eating fried potatoes linked to higher risk of death, study shows” 

(Apparently regular, non-fried spuds are chill tho.)

And, like, quite frankly, I feel personally victimized by this news.

After thinking about it for a very short period of time, though, this is my reaction:

Forget fries before guys…. FRIES BEFORE EVERYTHING!

(I’m obviously kidding… mostly.)

In all seriousness though, people read headlines like this everyday and freak out. One day it’s dairy, the next it’s red meat, the next it’s fries. Clearly we all know that fries aren’t that good for us, and we should definitely not be eating them every day. But most of us sensible humans also know that moderation is key, and that treating ourselves to fries every now and again isn’t going to do us much harm. Scare tactics like this are silly.

There is no reason you can’t enjoy your favourite foods in moderation, even if they are fried potatoes of death.

(I am so sorry – I’m all over the place today with my sense of humour and my posts have been cray at best. I’ll be back to normal after the weekend, promise. 😉 )

XO,

J

THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF ANNOYING FITNESS THINGS

It’s Friday, I’m tired, its been raining all week, I haven’t eaten any bread in 13 WHOLE DAYS …. I think a silly post is in order.

I’m going to list below everything I find annoying about the fitness world. Maybe another day I’ll elaborate on these annoyances… just to be a super irritating complainer. You’re welcome.

1. Attempting to remove/getting stuck in a sweaty sports bra after a particularly strenuous arm workout
   
2. People who sit and ‘stretch’ for a million years in the gym (by stretching I mean making use of a smart phone)
3. Stairs/hills/toilets after leg day
4. Doing laundry 12 times a week to wash all that workout gear
5. Salad
6. People who try to sell you shitty diet pills/wraps/shakes on Instagram
7. People who try to recruit you to pyramid schemes on Instagram
8. People who really believe they will get rich via the pyramid scheme they joined on Instagram
9. “Coaches” who have absolutely zero qualifications to give fitness and health advice, but decided to give it anyway… you guessed it – on Instagram!
10. Really, really, really fit people
11. Not being able to freely consume pizza whenever and wherever the mood strikes
12. Knowing the exact nutrition facts of what you’re about to consume when you’re treating yourself and feeling tragic about it
13. People around you who know you’re trying to be healthier constantly commenting on how ‘you look thinner!’ even though you know for sure that you don’t
14. Coworkers bringing cake/cookies/muffins/snacks into the office and sharing them
15. Watching your coworkers eat said snack as you cry into your lean protein and veggies, alone at your desk
16. Burpees
17. Getting hangry when there’s no accessible healthy food in your vicinity
18. Meal planning
19. Spending a million dollars at the grocery store every Sunday
20. Saying to yourself “I feel really lean today!” and then having the scale completely ruin it for you
21. Conflicting information (mostly about nutrition but also about exercise)
22. Fad diets
23. People who try to convince you to do fad diets
24. Falling for fad diets and regretting it later
25. People with naturally fast metabolisms (especially ones who brag about it)
26. Reading about how your favourite food is apparently now horrible for you (RIP french fries – Fried-Potatoes of Death)
27. Cardio
28. The price of athletic clothing
29. The price of a gym membership
30. Unsolicited advice from LITERALLY EVERY PERSON ON EARTH about losing weight/gaining muscle/ toning up/ etc etc etc
31. Being so well-hydrated that you have to get up to pee every half hour
32. People questioning your life choices all the time, and having to constantly justify why you’re doing what you’re doing
33. Getting up stupidly early to go to the gym before work
34. Feeling like you wasted a day if you haven’t worked out
35. Forgetting your Fitbit at home and not realizing until you get to the gym (I mean really, what’s even the POINT?)
36. When your Fitbit decides spontaneously that it no longer wants to record your heart rate in the middle of a workout
37. Doing something embarrassing in front of everyone at the gym (like the time I almost fell off of a treadmill after dropping my phone #hotmess)
38. Being the party pooper who always wants to go home early to get those 8 hours of sleep in
39. Juice cleanses. Actually, all cleanses. (True fact: the only ‘cleanse’ you need is a functioning liver. You’re welcome.)
40. People who promote detox teas that are really just laxatives. (GROSS.)

Did I miss any? Add yours in a comment and we’ll keep the list going!

(Obviously this is all in good fun and not meant to offend anyone! #jokes We’re all in this together, and sometimes it’s fun to commiserate and make fun of ourselves a little!)

Happy FRI-YAY!!

XO,

J